Everybody has them, you know. Everybody. Well ok, not everybody. I don’t. really. I mean, I have a few girls that I know that I refer to as my friends, but they’re really not. I wouldn’t call them if I was stuck on the side of the road. I wouldn’t run to them if I needed to talk about the next big tragedy in my life. And I certainly wouldn’t go to them to talk about shoes. Or hair. Or makeup. Or People magazine or US weekly or which kid of Brangelina is doing what with which Tom Cruise baby.
I’ve just never had girl friends. Ever. Most of the time, I just really can’t stand other females. They whine, they complain, they gossip. It’s almost never ending the things that they do to annoy me. Clothes and hair and shoes and boys boys boys!
I like my guys. I like hanging out with a bunch of guys and watching sports and playing video games. I wear my hair back in a ponytail and I walk around in men’s undershirts as tank tops. If I could get away without wearing a bra, I would, but I can’t so I suffer.
Do I wish I had a girl friend? I guess. It’s a new experience. It would be something so completely new and unknown that I’m not entirely sure just how I would react. I mean, what do I know about shoes and clothes? I’m perfectly fine wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt as I am in sweatpants and tank top. I can dress up and when I do, I can look good. I just don’t really enjoy it.
And makeup? Don’t even get me started on makeup. I know how to apply lipstick. And one shade of eyeshadow. But all these complicated applications and blending and things. I just don’t know. And who’s going to look at a twenty-nine year old woman nowadays and go ‘what? You can’t put on makeup? Here, let me show you.’
I guess, I’m trying to come up with some reason why I don’t have any girl friends, and most of it boils down to, I could never find one I liked, and when I did start liking them, they betrayed me. And I’m scared of the unknown. And having a girl friend is one of my biggest unknowns.
But then, New Zealand is a big unknown too. so who knows, maybe by conquering one fear and moving on down there, I can get past dozens of others. Including getting a girl friend. And possibly learning how to put on makeup. And walk in heels.
But I won’t be holding my breath on that last one.