Empty Bookshelves

That’s not a phrase that you’ll hear very often.  empty Bookshelves.  At least, not from me.  But I’m laying up here in my bed tonight and staring across the room at the empty bookshelves.


Today, I gave away over 600 books to the Nanowrimo book drive that they are doing this year for fundraising.  616 to be exact.  And the result?  I am staring at empty bookshelves.  Never in my life, not even as a small child who could not yet read, never, have I had empty bookshelves.


One of the shelves wasn’t books, one of the shelves was the DVD collections of some television shows that I watched.  West Wing, the new Battlestar Galactica, The Tudors.  They’re gone too.  Off the shelve, along with all my other DVDs.  They’re all in a box, downstairs.  Packed up.


It’s almost time for me to go through my clothing again too.  Find the clothes that fit, the clothes that I want, the clothes that I don’t.  Time to go through the closets and the drawers and pare down down down what I own, so that I can get it all to my new home.


Oh, I’ve moved before. Away to college, and away to Maine.  But I never, even in those moves, never had empty bookshelves.  I somehow knew that I would be back.  Or maybe that I could come back.  Driving two hours from jersey or thirteen from maine is a lot different, and cheaper, than flying over twenty-four hours home from new zealand.  just to get a book.


At first, the purging and paring was easy.  At first it was a way of taking the old things and saying ‘hah, i need you no longer’  But now, I’m starting to get into some of the things that I used to think made me,well, me.  And this is where things start to get emotional.  I can’t really put a finger on it, exactly.  There hasn’t been one particular piece that I’ve had to leave behind that has made me cry.


There might be coming, but there hasn’t been so far.  But, it’s the cumulative effect, I think.  I’m hoping to cut down on the cost of shipping my stuff over, so I’m trying to get only 3 boxes.


3 boxes.


My whole life, essentially, in 3 boxes.  Or at least, the few things in my life that I have determined are important enough as a part of me to make it.    This is going to be a hard few months.


Staring at empty bookshelves.

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