Tag Archives: Samantha

willpower

Age: 9 years old.

Mission: Stop sucking your Thumb

Bribery: An American Girl’s Doll, Samantha to be exact

Duration: One Year

Result: Success

 

Age: 23, 25, 27, 28

Mission: Quit Smoking

Bribery: Better life

Duration: Ohchrist forever

Result: Success, with help from medication

 

Age: 28

Mission: Stop Peeling lower Lip

Bribery: A job interview

Duration: Ongoing

Result: momentary success, but relapses have occurred

 

Age: 29

Mission: Lose up to, including, and passing 100lbs (or roughly 45kg)

Duration: Ongoing

Results: Time will tell

 

 

Now, those first two, three, items on that list actually took a lot of willpower.  And the smoking, there was a point where I had quit on my own for over a year.  But my willpower crashed and I relapsed.  Again and again and again.  But finally, with the help of modern medicine, I was able to kick the habit and I haven’t wanted a cigarette since (December 2, 2009).

 

But i’m wondering, just how much willpower does one individual have?  Have I used it all up?  Did I crush my strength under the burden of stopping sucking my thumb?   Was stopping biting my nails a habit that saw me abandoning any dreams of having the willpower to say no to chocolate?

 

Just how much does one person have? What kind of reserves can be relied upon really?  Have I reached my limit?

 

I found myself asking this question today as I did another 3 miles with the Walk at Home dvds and I found myself realizing that no, I have not hit my limit on willpower yet.  I can do this, I do have more in me.  I can and I will.

 

I got this.

 

Now if only my knees will keep up with me.

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Something About Writing

I dunno, but I had this weird dream the other night. Well, same dream, sort of. There was a modern version (starring Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver) and then towards the end of the dream it started over again.

It involved a man and a woman, their children, and some sort of kidnapping something.

Then, last night, when I went to sleep, the beginning of the 2nd part of the dream started over again.

A man on his horse, a trail of people walking behind/beside him, the snow whipping around them fiercely as they moved onto somewhere not there. The man wore a mask, or a helm, or something in between the two, the head of a white stag, with a wide rack.

the ‘camera’ shifted to a woman on the ground beside a longhouse, strong and wooden. she wore clothing to fight the cold, but she didn’t move to join the others, who for some reason were evacuating the village.

The woman called out to the man, calling him Ivan, and she held out a basket to him, begging for him to take the basket with him. He refused, telling her that this was her duty and her charge. He then pulled a ‘child of the coal’ out from the line of people and pushed her towards the kneeling woman.

“the child is your duty, Evelyn. Moriah will help you tend to her needs. Do your duty, there is nothing more I can do to save you.”

and then man in mask turned his gaze forward, leaving Evelyn and Moriah huddled in the snow, protecting the basket which it was slowly revealed, held a baby girl.

****

that’s really all that I remember. I know that the baby’s name is samantha. I know that somehow she’s important, but I don’t know why or what about. But I know that I’m going to have to sit down and write this story out.

I love when my dreams talk to me.